She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
