So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
