Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
