i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize