so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
