we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
