Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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