I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
