ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
