I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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