i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
