ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Still dying that you shit outside
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
