You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
