So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
