Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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