I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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