then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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