Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
