Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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