What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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