I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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