Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
not ubering you a puppy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
