Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
