I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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