How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
