Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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