Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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