Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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