I faked an abortion last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
