tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
