Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
