im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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