i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
