I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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