This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
