Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
