I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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