11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
