I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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