It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
