Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize