Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
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My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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