shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
