So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
