If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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