I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
