I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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