Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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