An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
