Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
