She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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