I don't usually arrange sex via text message
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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