youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
