Soap is not a condiment
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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