You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize