She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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