even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
