so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
