I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
