after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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