You really coming over, don't trick.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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